


Life with the Slayer (As Told By Mr. Pointy)

by IceBlueRose



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural
Genre: Crack, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-15
Updated: 2011-05-15
Packaged: 2017-10-19 10:44:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/199967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceBlueRose/pseuds/IceBlueRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I’ve been with Buffy since she was in high school. I wasn’t there for the beginning of the Angelus disaster, simply because at the time, I was with Kendra. But I was there for the aftermath. I was there when she went to Los Angeles and for the many nights when she woke up crying from nightmares about Angelus. Now, I haven’t been there for her as long as Mr. Gordo, of course. The stories that pig could tell...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life with the Slayer (As Told By Mr. Pointy)

I’ve been with Buffy since she was in high school. I wasn’t there for the beginning of the Angelus disaster, simply because at the time, I was with Kendra. But I was there for the aftermath. I was there when she went to Los Angeles and for the many nights when she woke up crying from nightmares about Angelus. Now, I haven’t been there for her as long as Mr. Gordo, of course. The stories that pig could tell...

That’s not the point (ha, pun!) of this story, of course. Why don’t I just move on? As I was saying, I have been there for Buffy for many years. We went out plenty during her senior year after she’d returned to Sunnydale (and I have to say that some of the things that I heard in her conversations with Faith...well, let’s just say that I didn’t think some of the things Faith did with a guy were possible). It was a nightly routine to go out and hit up the cemeteries.

Nothing says happiness like turning a vampire to dust.

I have to admit that I was worried when she went off to college. She began to patrol with Riley and the others in the Initiative and, well, we saw how well that worked out. Still, I didn’t get much use during that time. The only reason I knew what was going on was because Buffy’s boots don’t know how to shut up. All about the gossip, those two.

I have to admit that I was completely confused by the appearance of Dawn (spells like that don’t work on objects) until Buffy did the spell and discovered the truth about her sister. And the first time that she fought Glory, I was there and cheering her on despite the fact that she...well, let’s be honest, my girl got her ass handed to her.

The summer after she died, Dawn would come in and lay on her bed and just talk to Mr. Gordo. Sometimes, she’d pull me out of the nightstand and talk to me as well. As strange as Dawn thought it was to talk to a wooden stake, I think it helped.

The Buffybot, now that creeped me out and when they started using it to fool demons, I hated when they would hand me over to it for patrol. What Spike was thinking, I’ll never know. His duster could never fully explain it to me and believe me, the year that Buffy came back there were plenty of opportunities. Then it all went to hell, nearly literally from the moment that things went downhill between Buffy and Spike until the time when Spike came back to town insane.

As for the Potentials that year, I won’t lie; it was the first time that I wished I could drink. Those girls can talk for hours and they don’t even take a breath when they talk. How they do that, I will never know. I wasn’t about to even try to talk to any of their stuff. I’d go insane.

But it’s after Sunnydale that things begin to get a bit more complicated and definitely more interesting. Who would have thought that Buffy would meet up with Dean Winchester again? They’d met that summer in Los Angeles when Buffy ended up having to go after a couple of vamps that were being extremely obvious in their attempt to eat a couple of girls. They’d flirted for about a week until Dean and his family finished their hunt and then left town but that didn’t stop them from picking up right where they left off when it came to flirting.

Now Sam’s laptop? Talk about stories. I heard all about how Dean had a thing for Buffy and how Sam would roll his eyes and get this knowing little smirk on his face whenever Dean mentioned her.

It annoyed Dean to the point where he usually threw something at Sam, according to the Impala.

Really, these two were fantastic company which is why it was so annoying when Dean and Sam left town again. How was I supposed to find the truth about how Dean felt for Buffy if I couldn’t talk to the laptop and Impala?

Very inconvenient, the way they traveled to different hunts instead of just sticking to one hunt.

Of course, then things went to hell for Sam and Dean – this time very literally. Buffy yelled and then cried when she found out that Dean had made a deal for Sam’s life. The next time I saw the Impala, I found out that Dean had yelled right back while wiping at his eyes. (And as for those who disbelieve...the Impala never lies.)

The next time I saw the Impala was shortly after Dean had been dragged to hell. Sam was a wreck and, according to the laptop, he was determined to find a way to bring Dean back. Buffy had been all for it and agreed to help.

That’s where things got even more complicated because you put Buffy in the same room as Ruby and, well, let’s just say that there’s a good chance that threats will be made and, sometimes, fists will be thrown. (Really, though, I don’t think Buffy had ever thrown anyone as far as she did Ruby during one of their first fights. Right through a window too.) She wasn’t happy about working with a demon and I know that she didn’t believe Sam when he told her that he’d stop (good thing too since he didn’t, thank you for the information, Sam’s laptop) but despite that, she stayed.

Leaving meant Sam would be alone with Ruby, after all.

Now, Dean is back from hell and no one knows how he got here. He just showed up at Sam’s room (I could hear the Impala shouting happily from inside) with Bobby (he has the nicest hats) and after they’d played Dean about who Ruby was, they’d gone to Buffy’s room and, well, I think it’s a bit obvious what happened from there. If I were a person, I’d need therapy for what happened once Sam and Bobby left Buffy and Dean alone.

Never needed to see that side of my Slayer. At least with Riley and Spike, she kept me out of sight but they didn’t even hesitate once they started so I was just left right there on top of the dresser.

I don’t know what’s going to happen now that Dean is back. I know that there’s an angel and that he recognized Buffy when he saw her. I know she thinks he looks familiar and Dean is thinking that it’s just his luck that this angel might have some connection to Buffy. And I know that Sam is still meeting with Ruby and lying to Dean and Buffy about using his powers.

One thing’s for sure, things are never dull with Buffy.

And who knows? Maybe I’ll finally get Dean’s amulet talking.


End file.
